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Last Updated: 2010/07/22
Summary of question
Can a man take pleasure in different parts of the woman’s body if he likes, even by force?
question
In surah Nisa it has been said that it is the duty of women to yield to their husbands. In Tafsir Al-Mizan of Allamah Tabatabai, it is written that women must have absolute and total compliance.
1- What does total and absolute compliance mean?
2- Relying on this verse, can men take pleasure in all points of the woman’s body if they like, even by force?
3- What is the ruling on a woman who doesn’t yield to or hardly yields to her husbands sexual needs?
Concise answer

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Detailed Answer

Salam Aleikum,

These are the responses we received from the great maraje’s offices:

 

The office of the Grand Ayatullah Khamenei:

A1&2) Absolute compliance or yielding does not mean that the man can force his wife into doing immoral or very makruh acts, or to force her into doing things that hurt and bother her, what is meant is that the man can take pleasure from his spouse’s body whenever he likes, but in a normal and correct manner, and if there aren't any religious, intellectual and normal problems with that, she must yield.

A3) If the wife doesn’t yield in the way mentioned above, she has sinned and is no longer entitled to his subsistence.

The office of the Grand Ayatullah Fazel Lankarani:

Absolute yielding or compliance refers to normal desires and needs that the woman must yield to and anal intercourse without her consent is impermissible based on obligatory precaution, and very makruh with her consent. Also, the man cannot force her into performing oral sex; using force for uncommon forms of sexual pleasure is impermissible.

The office of the Grand Ayatullah Sistani:

The first point that must be made here is that one must follow his/her qualified marja’ when acting upon Islamic law, and tafsir cannot be used for getting a hold of Islamic rulings.

Secondly, it is the woman’s duty when it comes to her conjugal life and yielding to her husband’s needs (even preparing themselves for sex is part of yielding) to give in to her husband’s lustful needs. There are many hadiths regarding this issue. In the case of her not yielding, she becomes nashizah and the rulings of nushuz will apply to her. For more detailed information on the issue, you can refer to the risalahs of the maraje.

And Allah knows best

The office of the Grand Ayatullah Makarem Shirazi

What is meant by total and absolute yielding and compliance is that the woman must comply with her husband’s normal sexual needs. As for uncommon forms of sexual pleasure, such as anal intercourse, the woman doesn’t have any responsibility for. Also, if she doesn’t give in to his normal needs, she will become nashizah.

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